HOT!

A picture is worth a thousand words, n’est-ce pas?

YFN Superpup suffering from heat prostration

Strike!

Your friendly neighborhood Superpup is on STRIKE.

Superpup on Strike

I have no choice.

After years of faithful service, asking nothing more than a (halfway) decent meal, an occasional belly scratch and a place to lay my oh-so-weary head, what thanks do I get?

Chastisement.

Restraint.

Imprisonment.

Yes, dear reader, shocking as it may sound, that is indeed the thanks this devoted canine received when simply executing said canine’s number-one-top-priority-most important job – chasing and apprehending (and hopefully consuming) rodents.

This past weekend, after days of perseverance, diligence, and flawless execution, I successfully  captured a squirrel (granted, it was only a teenage squirrel of questionable intelligence, instinct and experience, but still…).  Before I could finish the job (out of respect for your delicate human sensibilities I won’t go into the details) the “lady” of the house started screaming, which brought Hoser running (more like lumbering) out of the house.

What transpired then wasn’t pretty.  Hoser, bellowing like an enraged bull (at least that’s what I imagine they must sound like), somehow managed to catch me and wrestle me to the ground, during which altercation the squirrel was dislodged from my formidable jaws.  Hoser hovered over me like a triumphant ogre (at least that’s what I imagine they look like), and the “lady” practically wept in relief (pathetic, isn’t it?).

And all the while I was frantically struggling to free myself from the big bully’s (Hoser’s) iron grip, THE STUPID SQUIRREL JUST STOOD THERE.  So the moment Hoser foolishly gave me an opening, I was off, once again capturing the Darwin Award winning rodent.  That’s when Hoser got really nasty.  There are few things more unpleasant than listening to Hoser swear at you at the top of his lungs (what will the neighbors say!) while his face just gets redder and redder.  Perhaps only one – Hoser grabbing you at the same time.  Yet again, I was robbed of the opportunity to complete my mission – but I did have the satisfaction of causing Hoser to trip and fall and hurt himself.  Heh.

At this point, I was imprisoned in the so-called “doggy pen” until the miserable rodent eventually (must have been hours, at least) managed to find its way out of the yard.

So, Dear Reader, now you know why I’m on strike.

At least until my admirable sense of duty triumphs over my completely justifiable outrage…

Squirrels!

Just so you know, I’m taking valuable time away from Squirrel Sentry Duty to write this post.

Now this may not sound like a big deal to you, Dear Reader, but trust me, IT IS.

Just take a look at what I have to deal with:

Stupefyingly Scary Squirrel

Frightening, isn’t it?

Now if this were an isolated example of the type of vermin your friendly neighborhood Superpup has to monitor and control (ie: chase) it would be bad enough.  Hard to imagine, isn’t it, taking on one such creature (just look at that satanic gleam in its eye).

Now, imagine many, many more (I know it’s scary, but try)!  Dozens of them.  Possibly hundreds.  Maybe even a LEGION of them!  Too horrible to contemplate, I know.  Especially for puny humans who don’t have what it takes to be a top-notch squirrel-hunter: speed, agility, courage, determination, intelligence, cunning, a REALLY loud and annoying bark and, oh yeah, teeth capable of crushing a squirrel’s neck with one bite.  Whew!

Lucky for them (the squirrels, not the humans), Superpup can also be merciful.  So quite often I let them get away – up a tree, out of the yard, into the hole they chewed into the back of the house.  Most of the time.  Almost always.  Except for that time that old one dropped dead right in front of me…

Yes, it’s a big job, but somebody’s got to do it.

As a special treat, here’s a picture of Hoser attempting to restrain me from doing my God-given duty:

Hoser's pathetic attempt to restrain me

Adieu!

Hallelujah!

It’s sunny today!

And warm!

A perfect day for your friendly neighborhood Superpup to reconnect with nature and its wonders.

Sun shining.  Birds singing.  Snow melting.  Leaves… leafing.  Wimpy humans finally getting around to sitting out on the swing in the backyard.

And best of all…

Plenty of squirrels venturing into the backyard to dig for nuts they buried five years ago!

Yes, it was a great day. 🙂

So, without further ado (gotta get back to those squirrels), I leave you with the official Superpup salute:

Official Superpup Salute

Ciao! 😉

Hurrah!

You perhaps will not be surprised to learn that in addition to my other fine qualities I can also be magnanimous when the occasion calls for it.  To wit:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1170962/Our-superpup-Bravery-award-labrador-defied-knife-wounds-chase-thief.html

Yes, it’s true.  I’m willing to share my title of Superpup with this courageous canine.

Even if he is a BLACK LABRADOR RETRIEVER, a breed which is also known to produce the most low-down, dastardly, vicious, snake-in-the-grass cowards who are prone to attacking unsuspecting dogs who are simply taking their humans for a leisurely stroll in the neighborhood.

Yes, I know that last sentence is grammatically questionable, but just thinking about such scurrilous behavior has me overwrought!  Lest you forget:

Innocent Victim of Evil Black Labrador Retriever

<Ahem>

And yet, even as I reflect on the ignominy of the aforementioned cur, I applaud the noble actions of Toby, a true representative of all that is finest in the canine race (well, as best a representative can be without being a Wire Fox Terrier) and heartily endorse his honorary title of “Superpup.”

…

Just as long as he stays on his side of the pond.

Ugh!

We are not amused. 😦

Not in the slightest.

It’s SPRING, damn it!

So why does Yours Truly have to put on a sweater?

BECAUSE IT’S GOING TO SNOW!

Hoser says he doesn’t really care if it snows or not.  MAYBE THAT’S BECAUSE HE DOESN’T HAVE TO GO OUTSIDE IN THE BITTER COLD TO PEE!

I must admit, though, I do look absolutely rakish in my red sweater (poncho, actually)…

Don't I Look Smashing (if somewhat un-amused)?

<sigh>

Ah well, in an effort to lift your spirits (which I know must be lagging in sympathy for moi), here’s a little bonus pic:

Hoser in April of 1996

Really hasn’t changed all that much in 13 years, has he?

We report.  You decide.

Bravo!

Glad to see the new First Dog has his priorities straight and is off on the right foot:

Bo and BO

It’s so very important that a dog establish the rules right off the bat.  For example, as you can see in the picture below, I made it clear to Hoser from the very first day that a) a dog’s gotta pull on the leash, and b) whoever is holding the leash WILL FOLLOW.

Hoser learning proper dog-walking etiquette

Bravo to Bo! 🙂

Yikes!

And here I thought I had tummy troubles!

Check this out:  Meet Bailey the golden retriever who ate four gloves, a mitten, a stocking and NINE socks but lived to wag his tail | Mail Online

Eating mice is one thing, but socks?  A towel?  Gloves?  Yuck!

Those goldies are really weird dogs, you know?  Like when I meet them when I’m out walking whichever human is lucky enough to accompany me, they just sort of look at me with that “duh” look on their faces.  Where’s the passion?  The excitement?  The joie de vivre (I think that’s how you spell that)?  I guess we terriers (especially we “more wins at Westminster than any other breed of dog” WIRE FOX TERRIERS)  just have to accept that all dogs are not created equal.  Sigh.

By the way, you know what I said in my first post about NOT bothering with the stuff over there on the side?  Actually, there is at least one thing worth checking out – the Blogroll.

Now, because I know you’re just chomping at the bit (forgive the equine reference – perhaps I should have said “I know your tongue’s just hanging out”) for another picture of Yours Truly…

Hoser contemplating my magnificence

You can see how Hoser’s just in awe of the way I grasp that yellow toy in my formidable jaws.  Do you think maybe he’s trying to suck up to me so that he never has to know just HOW formidable those jaws are?  Hmmm…

Well, I must be off.  Squirrels to chase, dogs to bark at, etc. 😉